Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
by Mischief Managed For Now
Summary: The diary of Lily Evans, following her mishaps, chocolate cravings, and a certain boy who won't leave her alone! Please review! Rated for language.


Authors Note: My second attempt at a fan fiction. I deleted my first story because it was horribly written and the Oneshot I have up doesn't really count …

Disclaimer: It all belongs to the might JKR. Don't sue me pleaaase )

"_Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" by Mischief Managed For Now  
Chapter 1: Today is, where your book begins …   
_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**28th August  
2:14 PM  
My Bedroom**

Alright, I'm not starting with an 'Dear Diary' mumbo jumbo, so let's get straight to the point. The names Lillianna Genervia Evans. Urgh, whenever I think of that name, I assume my parents were drunk when naming me. You sooo better not call me by that name because I know a couple good hexes that'll screw your face up for good, kapeesh? Just call me 'Lily' or 'Evans' much more simpler, if I say so myself, and much safer for your face.

Well, I never thought I'd actually own a diary. I mean, it's _such _a Petunia thing to do (Petunia is The Wicked Witch of the West, otherwise known as my sister, more on her in a bit). Ick. But I got you as a birthday present, from a total stranger. An owl just came in this morning with this diary and a basket of Honeyduke's finest chocolate. Mmm … chocolate … anyways, It also had a birthday card in it, but no name or personalized note. I know I recognize this owl from somewhere but I just can't put my wand on it …

Speaking of which, yes today's my birthday. I have turn 17 officially and am now able to use magic outside of school.

Oh but wait, what is this I'm mentioning? Magic? Owls? Wands? If you must know, I'm a witch attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, which is located in Merlin-knows-where. I'm a muggleborn meaning my I'm a witch born to Muggle (non magic folk) Parents. I don't mind really, it's just I get teased a hell of an amount from the Slytherines because they constantly call me "Mudblood" which is a foul name to someone whose muggleborn. Of course I got used to it. Oh and 'Slytherines' are in Slytherine house. There's four in Hogwarts: Gryffindor (brave and loyal), Ravenclaw (witty), Hufflepuff (treat people equally, friendly) and Slytherine (cunning and ambitious cough and evil cough). I'm in Gryffindor, though many people question why I'm not in Ravenclaw, seeing as I'm the smartest in my year (I'm going into my seventh and final year as of 1st of September!) .

But I may be smart academic wise, truthfully, as my friends would say "Your common sense is the equivalent of a drunk fly". And them saying that means I'm clumsy. And not just a trip-and-I'm-okay clumsy, but the four-times-visit-a-day-to-the-hospital-wing clumsy. All of Gryffindor house says I'm harmless (no matter how many threats I make; I can't carry out more than half of them) but I'm a danger to myself. People sometimes know me as Trip And Fall Evans and that for a reason.

Oh my mates? Both of them are my besties and in Gryffindor as I am. They're names are Castita Niveus and Insurella Patricks. Castita isn't very fond of her name so everyone just calls her Cassie and Insurella also hates her name and like to be called Ella. Us three all hate our names, that's how we came to becoming mates in the first place on the Hogwarts Express (the train that takes us to Hogwarts). Of course, us three bonded within seconds. It's funny how we did actually … and it all had to do with my clumsiness … lets just say I tripped, let go of my trunk and it hit Cassie and Ella and sent them flying down the corridor in the train. I felt so bad I caused someone some pain, but they laughed it off and asked if I wanted to find a compartment with them. I hastily agreed, knowing that I wouldn't be able to find an empty one alone. We spent the whole train ride laughing, talking about ourselves and Hogwarts.

Cassie is one of the few Pure Blood families left meaning, her heritage is only magic. So of course she knew stuff Ella and I didn't. She has long, silky, raven black hair that is normally in a fancy chignon. She has porcelain skin, rosy cheeks, and long, dark eyelashes. Her eyes are a piercing blue color … kind of a resemblance to clear seawater … and is tall, and skinny. She was a natural beauty, so she got many of the Hogwarts guys at her feet.

Ella is muggleborn just like I am and was new to the whole prospect of magic and such. Her family is pretty wealthy, but live in a standard home. Ella owns a good amount of expensive, muggle, designer clothing. She always brings them to Hogwarts even though she mainly wears her robes. Ella has blond hair that reaches her shoulders and brown eyes the color of tree bark. She has an athletically toned body … probably from all that Quidditch and Tennis during summer …

And I guess I might as well describe myself while I'm at it … I have fiery red, that hair that reaches my mid back. It's too thick for it's own good. It has a mind of it's own I say! Cassie gets beautiful, silky hair that's controllable enough to wear elegant chignons daily and Ella's is tame-able enough to wear down without it getting all over the place! Me? My hair is barking mad! I have to use so many bloody products a morning to keep it a tad bit normal, and yet, by noon, it's bouncing all over the place again! I have piercing emerald green eyes, and if looks could kill, my glare would be more terrifying than Avada Kedavra! I have pale skin with light freckles that are sprinkled across my cheeks and nose. I'm slightly curvy and short at 5'3".

I say I should tell you a bit about my family. I already mentioned my Satan-like sister Petunia, so howsabout I tell start with her …

Petunia Victoria Evans. The 'gift' from Lucifer himself. Oh how I detest her. I always have and always will. I can't find a spare bit of space in my heart for that loathsome girl. She's bony and taller than I am and is two years older than me. Her face oddly resembles a horse, and when she purses her lips, you can't even see them anymore. She wears repulsive make-up colors – sky blue eye shadow leading up to her thin eyebrows and mascara piling at least 3 pounds and eye. And she wears bright red lipstick. Urgh, you'd think with the amount of fashion magazine she subscribes to, she'd be able to take some advice for makeup. She hasn't called me Lily properly since I started Hogwarts, you see, Pet Tuna (my nickname for that sodding little …) likes all things normal and in balance. So when she heard I was going to a school where I'd be transfiguring toads into worms, riding broomsticks, and making potions, she dubbed me with the name _Freak_. She even uses it in casual conversations, "Freak, mind passing the salt?" and such. I personally think she's jealous that mum and dad are so proud of me, hahaha that selfless being! Let's go onto _Mother Dearest …_

Adrieanna Caroline Evans is mother dearest. And let's just say her and Petunia are quite in the same mind of things. Of course mum and I love each other very much, we just tend to have our share of disagreements, might I say. She swoops around me like an old bat and is a gossiping cow. She likes everything prim and perfect, just like Pet Tuna, but still accepts me as a witch. And her being perfect and all, it kind of states that our house is ALL white and crème colored! ALL of it! Including the bedrooms! Even mine! And there's nothing out of place, she cleans the house whenever she thinks there's a tad bit of dust lying around! She's mad! And we even have proper _tea_ time. I mean real proper, she invites her mate, Vixen Magnola, over once a day for tea. And she makes sure everyone is present. Me, Pet Tuna, and well … she doesn't invite Dad seeing as he falls asleep easily and snores rather loudly … My mum is built just like Petunia. Brown, curly hair, and bony figure with blue eyes.

Dad, Brandon Paul Evans, on the other hand, is totally different from Mum. He's normally sloppy and mum cleans up after him rather constantly. He likes to listen to rock and jazz music and is very interested in my world, the Wizarding World, and loves to ask questions. He's really light hearted and funny, totally the opposite of Mum. He has dark brown, messy hair, and brown eyes. He's also quite athletic and enjoys running. I asked him why I'm so different from the rest of the family (short, red hair and green eyes) and he says I get it from my grandmum, Cassandra Alicia Evans, of course, on my dad's side. I saw a muggle photo of her once and she does resemble me quite a bit. So much for being an orphan … Well that's my family I guess.

Now my love life … nothing currently now, of course I've had my share of boyfriends … but mysteriously … they've become afraid to be around me and had to break up with me. I have a good idea why … James Harold Potter. He's been hopelessly "in love" with me since I first met him on Platform 9¾ and finds if he doesn't ask me out once every five minutes, life is wasted. Unless he's up to some prank. He's the ring leader of their little "gang" called The Marauders, which consists of him, Sirius Black (James' best friend), Remus Lupin (his other best mate) and … Peter Pettigrew. Though now that I mention it, I don't even understand why they ever let Peter join their group. He's kinda just a follower. I guess they pitied him or something … any who … they also have their little odd nicknames, Potter is Prongs, Black is Padfoot, Moony is Remus' and Wormtail being Peter's. Where they got those name I have no clue. They're all terribly hot … other than Peter of course … anyways … and are the Gryffindor Bachelors, though, Potter can't be with a girl for more than an hour because he just uses the poor girls to make me jealous. Ha. Poor Potter.

Oh! I've been babbling so much about all these people I never got to say the good news! I MADE IT AS THE HOGWARTS HEAD GIRL! YAAAAAAAAY! I wonder who the Head Boy is? It must be Remus … he's been my prefect buddy for fifth and sixth year … but than again he's a Marauder and didn't really stop much trouble the past two years … it might be Severus Snape as well actually … he's terribly smart, but at the same time, not very, err – socially put together if you catch my drift … Oh well. Guess I'll have to wait until the first to find out!

Hmm … I've rambled on long enough … and now since I'm officially apart of the Magical World, I can use my wand … muhahahahahaha … time to find Pet Tuna!  
-Lily)

Same Day  
3:06 PM  
Back in my bedroom

Oh.  
My.  
Sodding.  
Giddy.  
Aunt.

THAT HORRIBLE HORSE FACED PET TUNA IS GETTING MARRIED TO A BOAR OF A MAN! Omigod. Omigod. Omigod. Omigod. Omigod. Omigod. Omigod. Lily needs to calm down. Lily needs some chocolate. Aha! The huge slab of Honeyduke's chocolate I was mysteriously sent!

Where … is .. ruddy … AHA! Chocolate! Mmm … so rich … and cremey … and soothing … Where was I? Oh yeah. Pet Tuna is getting married to a human that strangely resembles a boar. He has either little or no neck (depends where he tilts his head) a scruffy moustache (and is only 20 …) and looks purple faced. Wow … where'd Pet Tuna find this dude? A Hobo Auction?

Well this is how it went …

I was skipping down the stairs twirling my wand, and grinning when I see that Boar sitting on our Sitting Room couch. When I first saw him a actually mistakend Ned him for a drunk, enormously fat, hobo. And at queue, I screamed, and funny enough Pet Tuna was screaming with Mum at the same time. I was pretty sure they were screaming at Boar Man but than Pet Tuna was laughing and crying and so was mum … my screeching stop half way …

"MUM I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" Pet Tuna screamed.

"OH ME NEITHER! OUR FIRST DAUGHTER! OMIGOD!" Mum followed. I walked cautiously towards them and Pet Tuna did something I never thought she'd do before (no, unfortunately she didn't give me money), she HUGGED me. I was revolted and pulled back immediately.

"BRANDON COME HERE!" Mum bellowed for Dad to come down.

"What? I was sleeping?" He said, tirelessly. Mum pulled Pet Tuna's left hand towards dad, but I couldn't see and dad looked surprised and said "Oh! Congratulations Petunia! Now if you don't mind …" And he went back upstairs. I heard a snore a minute later. Typical dad.

"Mum, what the bloody hell is going on here?" I asked, exasperated.

"Lillianna! Language! Anyways, your sister is getting married!" Mum exclaimed excitedly.

"To whom?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Vernon Dursley." Pet Tuna said smugly.

"You mean that guy you've been dating for a year and I've never met him?" I asked, surprised.

"I think you've already had the pleasure of seeing him. He's in the Sitting Room as we speak." She replied.

"OH! You mean that fat hobo sitting on our couch?" I asked in total shock, if that was him my sister has stooped very low.

"How dare you talk about my fiancé in that manner, Freak!" She said in a hysterical tone. "He's the most wonderous man I've ever met!"

"You got him at a hobo auction, didn't you?" I smirked and raised my eyebrow.

"I DID NOT! He goes to my college!" She looked very steamed.

"As you say, Toonie." That did it, she despises that nickname.

"DON'T CALL ME TOONIE!" Pet Tuna screeched. I'm pretty sure she beat a banshee with that one …

"Whatever you say, now if you don't mind I'm going in my room to Owl my mates about your marriage to a hobo boar. Ta ta." I waved my wand and as I passed the sitting room again, I said in manners, "Good day." Now, normally people nod there head in reply, or wave or reply back with a "Hello" this man didn't. He just grunted and continued watching telly. "Rude." I muttered as I continued upstairs.

I took two pieces of blank parchment and dipped my eagle quill into my inkpot and copied down this letter twice:

_Heyllo!  
Lily here! Of course you knew that already though! You wouldn't believe the news I got! I'm Head Girl! Yay! Oh and thank you for the birthday present! Really appreciated! Oh you wouldn't believe this! Pet Tuna is getting married to a Boar of a man named Vernon Dursley. I asked her if she had found him at a hobo auction but she says (more likely screamed it) that he goes to her school. I feel sympathetic for her future kids! See you on Platform 9¾ soon! Love you a lot!_

_-Lily_

I sent that message to Cassie and Ella, gave them to my black owl, Midnight, to deliver them for me and than got back to you. Well, I'm going to finish the last bit of summer homework I have an clean up my room and pack my trunk for the 1st! I'll probably write to you than! Bye now!

-Lily

Authors Note: Wow … five pages of fanfic! I hope you enjoyed it! PLEASE REVIEW! It'll make me extremely happy and I won't die due to depression! Please review! A puppy dies everytime you don't!  
Lana)


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